Starting at a Disadvantage
by Repair Boy Valdez
Summary: Leo's life has not been the most pleasant, or the best. And his persistent crush on Jason Grace is doing nothing to help. He'd thought he'd been hiding it rather well— until the resident son of Hades brings it up.


**Vague HoH Spoilers, Vague timeline, One sided Valgrace (Leo x Jason)**

* * *

Leo always had a knack for crushing on people out of his league. People in relationships, immortals, monsters, people who didn't know he existed, people who didn't like guys at all— you name someone Leo couldn't have, and he would've had a crush on them.

However, the worst person he'd chosen to crush on had to be Jason Grace.

Jason was dating Piper. He was in a relationship, only saw him as a friend, was oblivious as all hell, and was straight as a ruler.

Leo covered up his crush pretty well, he thought. Jokingly hitting on girls— never guys, because he'd seen what happens to people who do that. You get beat up, at the kindest end of the spectrum, and he was sure even his sense of humor would save him in that situation—, and never, ever crossing the line into showing his feelings where Jason could see them.

Sure, he'd had crushes on other people. Before Jason, in between Jason crushes. It never seemed to end though, because every time he thought he was over it, he fell for Jason anew.

He thought maybe, just maybe, when Jason lost his memory, he'd have a chance. And he wasn't going to lie, he was at least a little jealous of Piper. But Piper was his best friend— someone he'd known for real at Wilderness, and she was like a sister to him. But that wasn't going stop the twinge of jealously, when they held hands. When they looked at each other with that stupid couple look that Leo had only had by himself. Maybe his crush would ebb away sometime, but he wasn't sure when.

Standing near the edge of the Argo, leaning over the railing a bit, Leo sighed. He was fed-up with being the seventh wheel, the odd man out, fed up with crushes and people in general. He could hear the others all around the ship, so when one son of Hades was suddenly beside him, he couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

_Godsdamnit stop sneaking up on people, Nico. _"—Hi."

Nico nodded in response, looking down at the water, as Leo was before. For a moment, Leo only stared at him, but when Nico did nothing, Leo went back to looking at the water.

It was probably another five minutes before Nico spoke. "You like Jason." It wasn't a question, or a suspicion, it was matter-of-fact, and Nico said it without even looking at him.

Immediately, Leo turned to him, eyes wide with shock, and just a little bit of fear. "I do not!" Oh Gods, what if Nico was going to tell everyone? What if he already had? What if he was going to use whatever the hell creepy powers he had to tell him it was unnatural to like guys— what if—

"Yes you do. When you know what it looks like, it's obvious."

Leo was still staring at Nico, hand gripping the railing as tightly as he could. "I— what?"

Nico sighed, finally looking at Leo. He looked vaguely annoyed— but that was how he always looked when talking to Leo. But Leo couldn't see fear, or anger, just a look like he was waiting for Leo to catch on. "The way you look at him when you think no one else can see you."

Leo gaped for a second, and Nico went back to staring at the water. "It feels really shitty. Sorry you're stuck with it. Don't hold onto the hope that he'll like you back. He's got Piper."

"Thanks, Mr. Sunshine." Leo even surprised himself with the sarcastic remark. Nico's words _hurt._ He didn't _want_ to admit that he didn't have a chance.

Nico shrugged. "Take it from someone who knows." The words were quieter than the rest, as though he didn't really want to say them at all. Leo blinked.

"How would _you_ know?"

Nico sighed, but said nothing. Leo tried to piece together what he meant. _Take it from someone who knows... When you know what it looks like ... Don't hold on to the hope that he'll like you back ... _

"You—?" Leo didn't finish the sentence. The topic was getting personal, and he didn't know what to say.

"Not Jason," said Nico, quietly. That was more than enough confirmation for Leo. Nico wasn't going to out him because they were in the same boat, sort of. He was curious as to who it was if it wasn't Jason, but he wasn't feeling comfortable enough to ask.

Neither boy spoke for a few minutes, and Leo could only stare at the water and think on the other demigod's words. After a moment, Leo's insecurities kicked in— he didn't know Nico that well, after all— and he said, "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Nico looked almost hurt, but the sort of hurt that he'd experienced lots of times before. And it was one Leo knew too— less, but still. _Don't you trust me? _Suddenly, Leo regretted saying anything.

"No. I won't alienate you more than you already are."

_Ouch. _Leo wasn't sure how to react to that for a moment, but figured it was probably well deserved after a question like his. The silence got tense, as though both were waiting for the other to say something, but didn't know what to be said. Leo wanted to leave, but wasn't sure he should.

Did this conversation make him friends with Nico? They didn't feel like friends. Friends didn't make you shy away, make you scared that your secrets were going to be spilled.

So they weren't friends. But what did that make them?

As Nico sighed and started walking away, Leo called out to him. "Hey Nico?"

"Yeah?"

Leo meant to say something like _Thanks, _or, _Sorry, _but the words got jumbled on the way to his mouth, and what actually came out was, "Are you still holding onto the hope he'll like you back?"

For a moment, Nico's face showed surprise, and a sadness— as well as the most familiar jealousy Leo's seen in his life. But then it was gone, and Nico shook his head. "I gave up a long time ago."

And then he's disappeared, off into the shadows or to his cabin or something. Leo didn't know. He only stared at the spot Nico was, feeling different, but not any better, than he did before the conversation started.

And then, with a sigh, he headed off to where his friends were, smile automatically finding its way to his face as he entered the room. A few welcoming "Hi!" 's, a wave or two, and then everyone else was a bit preoccupied with Hazel owning both Boardwalk and Park Place. Leo sat himself down between Jason and Percy, watching the game unfold with a grin. About two minutes in, Percy stood up and threw his money and properties in the air. The mad dash was enough time for Leo to reflect on his own thoughts— which he wasn't sure was good or bad.

"_I won't alienate you more than you already are."_

What would happen if Jason found out?

_He'd ignore you. You wouldn't be friends. Give up already._

_"I gave up a long time ago."_

And suddenly Leo felt terrible for the son of Hades. He stood up quickly, ignoring the questions from the group. "Nico! Hey Nico! Di Angelo! I need to— _augh!" _Nico glared at him, as though Leo should be used to his sudden appearances by now.

"What?"

"C'mon, we're playing Monopoly."

That was obviously not what Nico was expecting._ "What?"_

He looked like he was going to bolt, and so Leo grabbed his wrist, starting to walk back to the room where the seven were. "I'm making you have fun, Di Angelo."

"Is this some sort of revenge— what in Hades did I do to you? Let go of me!" Nico dug his nails into Leo's hand, which Leo ignored. "Valdez, what the hell!"

Leo stopped, sighing, and turned to face a glaring Nico di Angelo. "Look, life is shitty sometimes. But you can't always be sad— even if your life is the worst one on Earth. because no one's life is _all shitty things." _

"Is this going somewhere?"

"Yes. Shut up. You've probably had one of the worst of anybody, and I don't even know what you've been through, but I can tell it was terrible." Leo could see the formation of a _How would you know _type question, so he added quickly, "Don't you dare lecture me on how I don't know what it's like because you know what? I don't. But I sure as hell know better than anyone else on this ship. And you are not going to spend your whole life being upset."

"Because I have so many reasons to be happy, don't I?"

"Yes!" Once again, Leo seemed to be surprising Nico, and so he rushed forwards with an explication. "No big reasons, I know. But you're missing all the small things. You never laugh. You're too focused on huge things, the Gods, the war, everything that's happened to you. I do it too. But you don't stop!" Leo barely had any idea what he was saying, but Nico's expression was enough fuel for him to keeping talking, reasonably sure he was right. "What's the capital of Texas?"

Nico frowned. "What's this got to do with anything?"

"Just answer it, Di Angelo."

"Austin?"

"No. T." Leo grinned at his own joke, and Nico looked at him like he was crazy.

"What?"

"The capital of Texas is T. Y'know, because it starts with a T—"

"I know, I know, I get it. Why?"

Leo huffed slightly, annoyed this was taking so long. "Because it's funny. It's stupid enough to be funny. And you're not laughing. Stop being serious." And then he started dragging Nico again, and it was obvious Nico still didn't understand because the question _What the hell _was still being asked.

So Leo turned around and got right to the point. "Enjoy the small good things in life even when the big things are shitty! Your life is never so bad you can't have a laugh every once in awhile! Now I am making you come and play Monopoly because I know how it feels to think you don't deserve to be happy! And it's _wrong! _Now come and have fun!"

As he breathes at the end of the speech, Nico's expression made Leo realize how loud he was being, what he was saying. "Look, I'm not saying either of us are gonna get happy endings. But you gotta let yourself have fun every once in awhile. Take a break from beating yourself up over stuff you couldn't control."

Leo wasn't sure whether he was talking to himself or Nico. But Nico nodded, and both tromp down to the Monopoly room, where there's a shouting match between Hazel and Piper over the fact that Piper tried to charmspeak Hazel into selling Park Place. Percy had two one dollar bills in front of him and one property, although whether it's because he threw the pieces away or because he just sucks at the game, Leo wasn't sure. Despite Hazel's advantage, Annabeth is winning cash wise. Jason's stash seems to have decreased immensely since Leo was last there, and he figures it's Piper's fault when he spotted her stealing a twenty. Frank seems to be the least threatening at current, but one glance told Leo he owned all four Railroads and was probably getting loads of money because of it.

"Hey, room for two more?" The room fell silent for a second, and Leo was suddenly glad he'd let go of Nico's wrist.

Jason spoke up first, a warning. "You're starting at a disadvantage."

"Oh, I know," said Leo, sitting down next to Jason, Nico sitting on his other side. "Wouldn't be fair any other way."

As the in-game chatter started back up, Leo spotted Nico cracking a smile.

* * *

**[[ Okay, one day, I will write a canon ship. One day, guys, one day. Also eventually I'll write for another fandom. Until then, have some Leo/Nico brOTP ]]**


End file.
